April 11th, 2016
I wasn’t originally going to post this topic so soon, but there’s so much on my mind regarding this specific topic because it surrounds not only me, but everyone in their daily lives. The reason I was going to wait was because I didn’t want people thinking I was jumping into sexual blog posts for the sake of getting people to read my content. If you know me personally, you know I’m an open book and I love to talk about things that seem to make other people uncomfortable, but I tend to do it in a way that helps alleviate some of that “embarrassment”.
I decided though that this website was going to be dedicated to real life topics, and giving advice from my personal experience and through the wisdom of others.
I always say that life is not Pg-13, it’s Rated R. I may even interchange the words “Unrated” and “Rated R” in that last part. Lemme explain what that means; simply put, rarely do you see social media celebs or celebs in general, life experts, etc. talk about life in its actuality. Most of the time, they hide behind hackneyed or overused expressions and ideas and then people can’t apply the “advice” they’re given because it’s not real. It’s the “Pg-13”, politically correct, answer. And I’m sick of it.
I mainly started this blog post because it’s a lot easier for me to get my point across through writing than it is verbally. I have no idea why, but it is. That’s 99.9% of the reason I don’t upload to YouTube anymore. I can’t get my thoughts straight when I’m talking.
NOW, if you cannot openly talk about sex, if it makes you uncomfortable, or you think it’s unladylike for me to talk about it then please click out and save us all from your sheltered, negative lifestyle. We are all in 2016, please join us when you’re ready. Thanks.
Sorry for all of that writing before actually getting to the point, but I needed to clarify a few things before I continued.
Okay, let’s talk about sex.
To this day, I’m amazed how many people are uncomfortable or weirded out just by talking about sex. How do you think you got here? How do you think babies are made? It’s a natural human process, even if you never plan on having a child. It’s NATURAL. Are you hearing me? NATURAL.
What’s a good age to start having it? Oh man, probably going to get some hate for this, but…: whenever the fuck you want to && are mentally mature, and emotionally stable to handle the consequences. Hear me out.
I know anyone reading this has been through “sex ed.” (notice I put that in quotes because it shouldn’t be called education whatsoever.) but, yeah. You should have been introduced to it at some point, and some of the things I say are going to be repeated, but elaborated on. Something that the school systems failed to do.
Everyone becomes curious at some point and you can’t help the urges that you have. You can help by not acting on it, but the urges themselves are completely natural.
Not everyone is going to fit into what I’m saying here, and that’s okay.. because each and every person in this world is different; grows at a different pace, gets urges earlier or later than others, and develops differently. I’m going to give *some* examples, and if you don’t fit into this criteria, don’t sweat it.
Here’s some situations on someone who is NOT ready to do it:
- Samantha is 19 and has a bad home life. Her dad left when she was a few months old, her mother isn’t around as much because of <insert something here that her mother could potentially be doing>. Samantha doesn’t have many siblings around <they could be older, deceased, moved away, etc.> and she’s essentially alone. She cries a lot, is depressed, and recently decided to start dating and having sex. She doesn’t make the guy, or herself, wear condoms && she’s not on any form of birth control.
- Taylor is 17. She was abused by both parents growing up and likes the attention she gets from men. She has no other family to speak of, for some reason or another. She regularly ditches school, drinks and parties, and doesn’t protect herself in any form.
Here’s some situations on someone who IS ready:
- Jaime is 17. She doesn’t have a father, but has accepted it and moved on. She regularly takes birth control for her acne, and because she has been together with her boyfriend for years now && knows they’ll eventually sleep together.
- Rachel is 16. She knows she likes this guy and wants to sleep with him. She feels ready. She already obtained birth control, etc. and doesn’t feel pressured at all. This is something she wants to do.
Alrighty, so that was even a little weird for me to type that out, BUT I don’t regret it lol because I am trying to make a point here. Do you notice anything? Let me just point some things out for you.
AGE DOES NOT MATTER.
(I’m referring to the age YOU have sex, not anything illegal like a 14 year old and a 22 year old sleeping together, lemme make that clear.)
HOWEVER, BEING PREPARED MATTERS.
Understand? You can be 14, or 28. If you’re not emotionally prepared, physically prepared, or mature enough to be responsible in all aspects when it comes to this stuff, then I’ve got news for you: you. are. not. ready.
You’re not ready because you’re not emotionally stable enough or mature enough to deal with the aftermath. and yes, there’s always aftermath even if it’s just a one time thing. Sorry. Sex is a deeply personal thing whether it’s a quickie, or making love or anything inbetween. It could be that now sex is being devalued, but it is personal. Someone is literally witnessing you at your most vulnerable state. You have to be emotionally stable enough to deal with the consequence of them a) using you, or b) not wanting anything more than FWB. It happens.
And look, I get it. I know I’m going to get someone that tells me that I’m sounding like a prude, sounding like a mom, or being “too-protective”. And to that I say, “Okay, I’ll take it.”. Just because you demand respect, and not a pregnancy scare every time you sleep with your partner or whatever, doesn’t make you less of a person. It makes you wise, so that you don’t end up pregnant with 5 kids already by the time you’re 30.
Lemme be clear about this too: nothing is 100% preventive except for complete abstinence, but again, we live in the real world. I live in reality. And I know that teenagers, remember I used to be one so I know, are going to do what they want regardless what anyone preaches to them. So, meet them halfway. If they’re going to do it, let them be prepared and let them know there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s 2016. We need to abolish the old thinking of “never have sex or else” tactic, and just accept what it is: going through puberty causes urges. Let’s raise responsible people, please.
I’m also not encouraging 13, 14, 15, 16, or even 17 year olds to go out and sleep with whoever they want. Don’t confuse my message. I’m simply saying that if someone is ready, teach them. Don’t shame them. Trust me, it does way more harm than good.
Thanks for reading guys ;* Comment, && follow me! Love to talk about any subject, so let me know what you want to read next (: Thanks!